It seems over the past several weeks, almost every person I've been around has mentioned something about my laugh - some being old friends, some being friends I haven't spoken to or seen in several months - even several years - and lots of random people I've met in passing while I've been out and about over the past few days enjoying my child-free evenings. I even had a hilarious exchange with a sweet girl in the Exit/In bathroom that resulted in an all-out laughing fit between the two of us. The more I laughed, the harder she laughed... so much so, she marched me straight to the bar and bought me a shot because I had "the most fantastic laugh." So funny, yet so very random.
The next day, after a phone conversation with an old friend, he texted me this, "It's nice to hear you laugh. You sound happy."
That's when it all hit me.
I AM HAPPY.
I haven't laughed a lot over the past few years. In fact, I think I cried more in 2009 than I've cried throughout my entire life.
Seriously.
Last year was intense. - Looking back now, I can see it wasn't the relationship that broke me; rather it was everything. Every single thing in my life - had come to a very abrupt, life-altering stand-still. The break up was just the proverbial cherry on top.
I haven't felt peace, security, stability, self-worth, joy - all those things associated with being a truly happy individual in a very long time. The realities of my life along with the abundant stress that came with voluntarily leaving a career as an insurance agent to completely change my career of choice to something most people only dream of doing for a living had finally robbed me of my infectious laughter. Granted, I admit, I allowed it to be taken without a very good fight. However, now that the finish line is within reach, I'm feeling the breeze of the downhill coast.
Don't get me wrong, life isn't all peaches and cream. I'm still stuck in school for 2-3 more weeks, therefore finances are still really tight, but at least I see a reprieve is just around the bend. Thank goodness for that.
It's been a long, hard, emotional journey; but by the grace of God and the unconditional love, support and unfaltering help my amazing family and friends have graciously continued to offer up, I made it through the toughest year of my life.
And for that I am forever grateful and happy.
Sylvia, you have always been such a strong human being with the most inviting and charming personallity with a abnormally high maturity to you. Even when we were young, while the rest of us were chasing or crying over boys you always seemed to have a solid selfconfidence or easing stability as though there was more things bigger things to use your infectious energy on. A certain story comes to mind of a very insecure girl in a new place that really liked a boy and when low and behold he liked you and not me you hugged me tight while i cried in front of a school full of new friends( embaressing)and broke up with him because even then your heart was absolutely selfless and kind:) Im so happy to hear that you yourself now see what anyone(and i do mean anyone) whos ever spent 2 minutes with you senses immediatly. You deserve every great thing that comes your way, and every smile or laugh that comes from you or @ you.It sounds like youve worked harder than most your entire life for every blessing and deserve every bit of gr8ness to come! Now come home to visit so we can pay you to make us look fabulous!!!!:)Love you girl!
ReplyDeleteNever let anyone steal your sunshine. You have a way of touching peoples lives and lifting them from the darkest of abyss. You are truly one of the greatest people I have had the fortune of knowing. I know things didn't work out like they planned, or maybe that is how they were supposed to. Your laugh is infectious and your smile can light a room. You should never forget that.
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