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Showing posts from November, 2017

"I've got issues, but you got 'em too."

Maintaining relationships - even friendships - take a fair amount of work.

Whether it be calling, texting, writing emails or even letters -- all of those things typically happen on a semi-regular basis in order for the people involved in those "relationships" to feel loved, appreciated, and valued.

I'll be the first to admit that I've been a craptastic friend at times.  But to the few true friends that I have now - presently - I've tried my hardest to maintain those connections and friendships.

- And for the most part, those efforts put in by me have been matched - if not completely exceeded - by the other party.

Don't get me wrong, there are those few special friendships where you can go ridiculously long amounts of time without talking or seeing each other, and then just pick up right where you left off.  I have maybe 2 or 3 long-time friendships like that.

Anyhoo, that's not what this particular entry is about, per se...

It's more about marriage, d…

"I'm Alive. You took it all, but I'm still breathing."

I'm alive. 

And that says something.

Something HUGE.

It means I survived one of the hardest, most difficult years of my life. 

Today will be my first Thanksgiving in 8 years without my former husband or his family.  He'll be picking Xander up around 1pm today. 

It wasn't my job to make the turkey this year. 

I have to make one casserole to take to Dianne's house for Thanksgiving dinner later this afternoon.

- Then I have to head to the mall to work.

I've split holidays with Emily's father for as long as I can remember, but this time around with Xander, it just feels different. 

I don't think anyone goes into marriage thinking it's going to fail.

- But looking back on things and reflecting, I saw issues that started within a few months after we married.  - Issues I tried to overlook and make work, knowing deep down that those qualities and characteristics weren't going to fly long-term with me.

All in all, I didn't want this for my life. 

But th…

"No More I Love Yous"

November 1st marked the one year anniversary of leaving.

So much has happened.

So much has changed.

So much of myself is being rewired, reprogrammed, and rewritten.

I closed on Karla's house the last week of July.  I'm now officially a homeowner.

I've thrown myself back into my workaholic ways.  I started back at the Market in August after a 6 month hiatus.  I've stopped scheduling days off.  I work to keep my mind focused and to keep myself out of trouble.

Emily switched schools this year and is adjusting to being a 7th grader at a normal public school pretty well.  I think she's happier.  Her father and I are too.

Xander started speech therapy in a group setting with 3 other kids in August.  He goes for an hour and a half every Tuesday and Thursday.  This has helped tremendously in easing my worries over my non-verbal child.  He's smart as a whip, and is definitely understanding everything we say to him. He knows his body parts, letters - upper & lower ca…