Sunday, July 17, 2016

"Maybe You Should Go and Love Yourself"

Confession: I struggle with self love EVERY SINGLE DAY.  

I'm 37.  Most times, I'm the oldest of the girls I work with. 

All of my colleagues are trendy, beautiful, vibrant and young looking -- and seem to have a matching girl squad of besties who always make time to hang and have fun.

I have too many gray hairs.  I now have to color my hair every 8 weeks.

I am not tee-tiny - I have never been small or uber-skinny.  But, I'm the heaviest I've ever been right now.  I hate getting dressed.  I loathe looking at myself in a full length mirror.

My arms are flabby and make me very self conscious because they jiggle when I have to tease clients hair.

I have always had large boobs and have never been able to go braless.  The majority of my wardrobe consists of flowy black tops. 

I'm have age spots, droopy eyelids and forehead wrinkles and more chins than a Chinese phone book now.

I share all of this because I know many beautiful women struggle with the same self-love issues.

I was venting to my husband the other day about my frustrations and he said to me, "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

Just for one day, I wish I were able to see myself through everyone else's eyes.  I bet if all of us women could see just how our peers see us, we'd all have a good laugh over how much time we spent worrying about our appearances.

I decided this weekend to sign up for a gym membership.  I'm tired of not liking what I see in the mirror.  

I want to get healthy... Not for anyone else... Just for myself.  

I want to look better.  I want to feel better.  I don't want to be skinny... I just want to be healthy and fit.  I want to be strong and have some muscles.

I want to be a good example to my kids.  I want to like myself and be proud of the changes that will happen to my body over the next few weeks, months, and years. Changes that I earned. 

I'm finally ready.  Enough is enough.

Tomorrow marks the start of a new journey.  

New day.  

New goals.  

Cheer me on and keep me accountable along the way, Friends!

Current Weight: 205lbs
Current Size: 14