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Showing posts from 2013

"Baby Boy"

My last pregnancy picture EVER! Sunday, December 15th, 2013.

At midnight on Monday, December 16th, 2013 Alan & I were checking in at Summit Medical Center for our scheduled induction later that day.

We were assigned to room 202.

I was told to get settled and that the nurses would be in shortly to get me all set up.

I had to change into this lovely gown and Alan felt the need to take a picture and post it to Facebook.

My nurses returned and checked my cervix. I was already 4cm dilated, so they didn't have to administer the Prostaglandin E2 gel to ripen my cervix.

They hooked me up to a fetal heart rate monitor, a contraction monitor, a blood pressure band and started my iv. The iv to the hand has got to be one of the worst parts of labor & delivery -- at least for me.

By 2am, I was finally finished processing. Sandra told me to rest and that she'd be back in at 4am to start my Pitocin drip.

Rest and sleep seemed impossible for both Alan and me. I tried to unwind by watchin…

Bear-Bear Needs Your Help.

So as most of you know it's been a doozie of a time for us and our beloved pets.

Over the last 2 months our fridge, our dryer and both of our cars have died. - 3 out of 4 have been revived, and I'm very thankful for my in-laws who have graciously lent us their vehicle until we can get our car situation rectified. - But, yes, when it rains, it definitely pours!

In September, our cat, Marble, started having violent seizures. After several vet visits, and attempting every affordable option to try to make her seizures stop with no success, on October 8th we had to make the heart-wrenching decision to euthanize our beloved cat.

That same month we found a cancerous growth on our other dog, Chloe. We were told it was a fast-growing cancer and needed to be removed ASAP. The vet sent us home with a steroid ear drop and thankfully the drops have made the growth almost completely disappear, at least for now, thus buying us some time to budget and save for another eventual surgery.


"Baby, baby, baby - Ohhh!"

So my emotions have been all over the place lately and here's why:

- Yup, we are pregnant.

We had a bit of a scare last week.  I had some bleeding and cramping again...  and due to how our last pregnancy turned out, I was prematurely worried and heartbroken.

But we had an ultrasound the next day and the baby is doing just fine.  -And from what we witnessed on the ultrasound, we have a very active, bouncing baby bean in my belly.

I still have a subcorneal hemorrhage - which I had with the previous baby - but my doctor said the bleeding was the hemorrhage trying to flush itself from my system.  - So it's still there, but smaller and should resolve itself as the baby grows.  The doctor doesn't seem too concerned about it, but I am a creature of worry so please continue to keep us in your prayers as we venture through this pregnancy. 

We're excited.  - Especially Emmy.

- Oh, and Em and I are really, really hoping for a baby BOY.  :)

(All photos courtesy of Brooke Kelly Ph…

"I don't quite know how to say what I feel."

Life is full of ups and downs -- so many highs and so many lows.

I don't even know where to begin.

Recently, I've had to recollect a lot on my past. - Not only personally & privately, but in front of my physicians and with my spouse. - If that thought doesn't make you cringe, then you probably don't have a past quite as colorful as mine.

That being said, I am one to cling to a Christian belief system where if you confess your "sins" and ask God for forgiveness then you are ultimately forgiven & given a clean slate.

But despite my beliefs, I still struggle with self-forgiveness. There's still a great deal of shame and embarrassment when it comes to discussing the crummy decisions I made in my past. - And I can't help but feel that those decisions made so long ago are still affecting my life presently.

I half-jokingly say that God's finally punishing me for the awful things I did. - But even though I don't truly feel that way, I s…

"Words don't come easily..."

I've been struggling to find words to describe how I've been feeling as of late.

I've never been one to be very open about my problems, emotions or feelings -- especially to my girlfriends.

I guess that all spawned from my mom constantly telling me that people just don't care when your life isn't "good" -- no one wants to be brought down by your bad news/mood/circumstance - whatever the case may be.

- Through the years and the MANY changes to my friend circle my life has undergone; for the most part, I found this to be true more often than not.

So instead of openly complaining or reaching out to my "friends" for comfort, I try, instead, to seem as positive as possible on the outside despite the inner turmoil happening on the inside and just keep my personal battles to myself.

Lately though, I've felt pretty alone. Aside from my daughter and my husband, I've truly felt like I don't have any friends anymore. - Maybe "fri…