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Showing posts from November, 2012

"Try again."

Last week seems like such a blur - that's probably due in part to the heavy meds I've been on, but all in all, I don't feel like I missed too much.  I was able to take several days off from work and I'm really thankful for that.

I broke the news of the miscarriage to Emily on Monday night while she was helping make dinner.  I wanted to wait till she was home for the week to tell her so she'd have all the opportunities for questions and much-needed comfort.

I think having to tell her made things seem much more real.  It's almost like I wasn't allowing myself to feel anything, except when I was alone in my bed, waiting for the medications to sweep me off to sleep each night.  - But that afternoon was different, I gave myself permission to cry in front of her...  and it wasn't really by choice...  It just happened - as soon as I started telling her the results of the final ultrasound, I choked up and it all came out.

She just stood there, staring at me.  I…