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Showing posts from August, 2010

"You gotta fall in order to mend."

It seems over the past several weeks, almost every person I've been around has mentioned something about my laugh - some being old friends, some being friends I haven't spoken to or seen in several months - even several years - and lots of random people I've met in passing while I've been out and about over the past few days enjoying my child-free evenings. I even had a hilarious exchange with a sweet girl in the Exit/In bathroom that resulted in an all-out laughing fit between the two of us. The more I laughed, the harder she laughed... so much so, she marched me straight to the bar and bought me a shot because I had "the most fantastic laugh." So funny, yet so very random.

The next day, after a phone conversation with an old friend, he texted me this, "It's nice to hear you laugh. You sound happy."

That's when it all hit me.

I AM HAPPY.

I haven't laughed a lot over the past few years. In fact, I think I cried more in 2009 than I…

"Breakin' up is hard to do."

It's been my experience that even the most amicable breakups are still just as difficult as any other.

I've chosen to remain fairly private about my most recent breakup, that is, until now. - And consequently, my silence earned myself a label I don't quite deserve. Basically, I have been interpreted as a "heartless, emotionless, stone-cold bitch" - granted, to my knowledge, they didn't use those exact words, however, from what I gathered, the implications were there.

Timing... chalk this one up to bad timing. - My relationship, that is.

I admit, five years from now, I'll probably be kicking myself repeatedly for letting this one go. However, given my circumstances at this particular time in my life, it had to be done. - Not only for my sanity, but for his as well.

Those of you who knew me while growing up in Florida, probably know that my life in Panama City was hardly picturesque. I was forced to grow up quickly. I was raped at the age of 11 and abu…

"If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you."

Inspired to write, feverishly, fervently even, however, the words aren't eloquently flowing... My head is pounding with pain. A migraine is in the works. My heart is feeling torn between logic and emotion.

The war wages on... though, seemingly, for a lost cause.

Everyone constantly says, "Follow your heart." But what happens when your heart wants something that doesn't want you in return?

- Do you stay vigilant and true to your heart's desires?

- Do you hastily attempt to paste the pieces of your heart back together and move on?

What if you've tried it all?

Numerous times?

Failing miserably at all attempts to move on.

My being vigilant and faithful to my heart, fighting ferociously for my belief in a love so deep against the reasoning of someone so close, but yet, so far gone, repeatedly producing the same results.

So when is enough really "enough"?

I'm stuck in a bad rerun.

I know how it all goes down. I even know when it's all about to h…