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Showing posts from 2012

"Try again."

Last week seems like such a blur - that's probably due in part to the heavy meds I've been on, but all in all, I don't feel like I missed too much.  I was able to take several days off from work and I'm really thankful for that.

I broke the news of the miscarriage to Emily on Monday night while she was helping make dinner.  I wanted to wait till she was home for the week to tell her so she'd have all the opportunities for questions and much-needed comfort.

I think having to tell her made things seem much more real.  It's almost like I wasn't allowing myself to feel anything, except when I was alone in my bed, waiting for the medications to sweep me off to sleep each night.  - But that afternoon was different, I gave myself permission to cry in front of her...  and it wasn't really by choice...  It just happened - as soon as I started telling her the results of the final ultrasound, I choked up and it all came out.

She just stood there, staring at me.  I…

"How's it gonna be..."

I'm down one pound since last week's weigh in.  So I'm still at 193.

I had a series of doctors appointments over the course of 2 weeks and for the most part all my labs came back fairly normal.  There were a few things my doctor said we would watch over the next few months, but also said if I get my diet and exercise habits in order those things should remedy themselves.

I am officially off all medications - excluding Zyrtec for my ridiculous allergies.  I stopped taking my anti-depressant (Celexa) about 2 months ago and seem to be doing fine emotionally -- at least for now.  My doctor mentioned there is a new medication out that has none of the side effects that concern me most and since I've tried so many other anti-depressants over the course of my adult life, if we -- as in my family -- started to notice signs of depression creeping back in it would be a good fit for me.  I also opted to take Melatonin to help me sleep instead of a sleep-aid and that seems to be he…

"It's been one week."

Current weight: 193.7 (Down 3.3lbs)

Week one of my weight loss endeavor has proved to be manageable for the most part. - Yes, I did have a few moments of weakness where I had to fight off the urge for chocolate but I was able to fight through them and remain faithful to my diet plan.

The weekend proved to be an unplanned "cheat weekend." - Sunday wasn't originally planned as a cheat day, but seeing how we were celebrating Alan's Grandmother's 91st birthday, I felt cheating on my diet was only natural - especially since birthday cake is involved.

Despite the weekend's "diet adultery," I managed to lose 3 pounds in just 10 days as a result of only tweaking my diet.

In the first 7 days of this fitness & weight loss challenge, I quickly realized getting healthy is truly a commitment of your TIME.

Last week was tough for me to make time to exercise. - Between Emmy being home (and still in school) & my working 11 days straight - I didn't hav…

"I was difficult to reach, but you picked me."

- Between Emily being fever-stricken since Sunday and my having a knockout bout with my own health issues; it's definitely made for an interesting week.

Luckily, I already had Monday through Wednesday booked out on my calendar for some much-needed R&R.

- Rest - Yes. - Relaxation - Umm, yeah, not so much.

With all the downtime I had this week, I caught myself taking notice of just how nice life is without the stress of trying to stick to a strict schedule.

I'm that annoying OCD person who has a running "To Do" list and an intense Google calendar to keep me organized at all times.

So with this virus, Emily slept a lot... And I mean A LOT... which is really out of the ordinary for her. - Even when she had the flu she was still up bouncing around, so seeing her sleep till 1pm for 3 days straight was very scary for me. But I let her sleep, meanwhile, I took full advantage of the quiet time and scheduled her doctor appointments for late in the afternoon.

A few months ago…

"Happy Birthday!"

Today is my 33rd birthday.

If I had to choose only one word to describe my life as of late, it would be "Blessed" - no questions about that.

Earlier this week, during my morning commute into one of my many jobs, I reflected a bit on my life over the past 5 years. - The good, the bad and the very, very ugly.

It's no secret that my journey to where I am today was by no means a cake walk. I recall a time in 2008 when I was going on several months of being without a job, stuck on the seemingly never-ending waiting list for Aesthetics school, worrying about how I was going to put food on the table, and ultimately questioning my self-worth each and everyday.

It was only by the grace of God and the generosity of family & friends that got me through. Many of you reached out to help - whether it was providing a place to live, sending monetary gifts, providing me with groceries &/or Kroger gift cards that I used to put gas in my car, or even paying my way on much-needed g…

"A Long December."

So it's a new year.  Twenty-twelve.  It's hard to even fathom that at times.

In retrospect, 2011 was better by leaps and bounds than it's prior few years and I'm so thankful for that.  The tides had finally changed, thus making way for some light to shine in my life.

The year as a whole was better, however, I do admit the holidays were tough, as usual, considering my strained relationship with my family.  Though, I am fortunate to have both former and present in-laws to spend time with and that made the holiday season a whole lot more bearable.  -I suppose family is family, right, no matter what the lines of legality say?  -This was the first year since my ex-husband and I split that we had to do a separate Christmas.  -That was a foreign concept to all of us, I think, after all, our situation isn't typical, and I guess it naturally comes with the territory of getting remarried.

Anyway, we had a successful Christmas...  about 5 to be precise.  Emily made out like a…