Sunday, July 17, 2016

Love Yourself

Confession: I struggle with self love EVERY SINGLE DAY.  

I'm 37.  Most times, I'm the oldest of the girls I work with. 

All of my colleagues are trendy, beautiful, vibrant and young looking -- and seem to have a matching girl squad of besties who always make time to hang and have fun.

I have too many gray hairs.  I now have to color my hair every 8 weeks.

I am not tee-tiny - I have never been small or uber-skinny.  But, I'm the heaviest I've ever been right now.  I hate getting dressed.  I loathe looking at myself in a full length mirror.

My arms are flabby and make me very self conscious because they jiggle when I have to tease clients' hair.

I have always been busty and have never been able to go braless.  The majority of my wardrobe consists of flowy black tops. 

I have age spots, droopy eyelids and forehead wrinkles and more chins than a Chinese phone book now.

I share all of this because I know many beautiful women struggle with the same self-love issues.

I was venting to my husband the other day about my frustrations and he said to me, "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

Just for one day, I wish I were able to see myself through everyone else's eyes.  I bet if all of us women could see just how our peers see us, we'd all have a good laugh over how much time we spent worrying about our appearances.

I decided this weekend to sign up for a gym membership.  I'm tired of not liking what I see in the mirror.  

I want to get healthy... Not for anyone else... Just for myself.  

I want to look better.  I want to feel better.  I don't want to be skinny... I just want to be healthy and fit.  I want to be strong and have some muscles.

I want to be a good example to my kids.  I want to like myself and be proud of the changes that will happen to my body over the next few weeks, months, and years. Changes that I earned. 

I'm finally ready.  Enough is enough.

Tomorrow marks the start of a new journey.  

New day.  

New goals.

4 comments:

  1. Did you happen to join the Y? I know it costs more than other gyms but it is so awesome! We go there 4 to 5 mornings a week. Their child care at the 3 places we go is so good so it's a win-win. Their classes have been so amazing for me. I still wear the same size clothes that I hate but I am physically stronger and mentally I feel stronger too. And while I've only exchanged numbers with one other mom there I've made many connections and don't feel alone when I'm there, good people.

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  2. You can do this, you are strong (even if you don't feel like it), you are doing this for the right reasons & you are awesome. Love you.

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  3. Good luck my love. I think you are beautiful through and through, but I hope you find that inner strength you seek, that we all seek!

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  4. You can do this! All it takes is commitment and determination. Find that one challenging fitness goal (5 *real* push-ups, or 1 pull-up, or running for 5 minutes without walking, etc.) and work hard to reach it. Then set another goal! I am by no means "skinny," but I can run long distances and do bodyweight exercises (including push-ups). Seeing the accomplishments I've made fitness-wise (and knowing I have more stamina than most 20/30-year olds) have helped me accept my body! You got this, lady!

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