Confession: I struggle with self love EVERY SINGLE DAY.
I'm 37. Most times, I'm the oldest of the girls I work with.
All of my colleagues are trendy, beautiful, vibrant and young looking -- and seem to have a matching girl squad of besties who always make time to hang and have fun.
I have too many gray hairs. I now have to color my hair every 8 weeks.
I am not tee-tiny - I have never been small or uber-skinny. But, I'm the heaviest I've ever been right now. I hate getting dressed. I loathe looking at myself in a full length mirror.
My arms are flabby and make me very self conscious because they jiggle when I have to tease clients' hair.
I have always been busty and have never been able to go braless. The majority of my wardrobe consists of flowy black tops.
I have age spots, droopy eyelids and forehead wrinkles and more chins than a Chinese phone book now.
I share all of this because I know many beautiful women struggle with the same self-love issues.
I was venting to my husband the other day about my frustrations and he said to me, "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."
Just for one day, I wish I were able to see myself through everyone else's eyes. I bet if all of us women could see just how our peers see us, we'd all have a good laugh over how much time we spent worrying about our appearances.
I decided this weekend to sign up for a gym membership. I'm tired of not liking what I see in the mirror.
I want to get healthy... Not for anyone else... Just for myself.
I want to look better. I want to feel better. I don't want to be skinny... I just want to be healthy and fit. I want to be strong and have some muscles.
I want to be a good example to my kids. I want to like myself and be proud of the changes that will happen to my body over the next few weeks, months, and years. Changes that I earned.
I'm finally ready. Enough is enough.
Tomorrow marks the start of a new journey.
New day.
New goals.
